MEDIA RELEASE: ALL SHIPPING LINES
REGRET TO ADVISE NO LONGER ABLE TO OFFER SHIPPING INSURANCE FOLLOWING REPORTS OF UNACCEPTABLE FLOATING (?) RISK TO SHIPPING STOP.
ACCORDING TO RECENT SOURCES, THERE IS AN UNREGISTERED FLOATING BLACK OBJECT AWASH WITH LEAKING DIESEL, LOITERING NEAR SHIPPING LANES WITH A PROPENSITY TO RAM COMMERCIAL SHIPPING STOP.
THIS MAY BE THE INSURANCE BLACKLISTED VESSEL "Annie Horibilus of Antigua".SUCH VESSEL IS ALLEGEDLY ARMED WITH A 1200 LB PROPANE BOMB MOUNTED AT DECK LEVEL, IN THE FORM OF THIRTY 40 LB PROPANE BOTTLES STOWED IN AN UNSEAMANLIKE MANNER AT THE AFT END STOP.
COLLISION WITH A 1200 LB PROPANE BOMB AT 20 KNOTS REPRESENTS AN UNACCEPTABLE INSURANCE RISK STOP.
WE REALISE THAT OUR CESSATION OF INSURANCE SERVICES MAY LEAVE A VOID HOWEVER UNTIL SUCH RISK IS REMOVED, WE CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR RISK TO CARGO OR PASSENGERS FOR THE NEXT 1000 DAYS STOP.
PLEASE MAKE IT STOP STOP.
SINCERELY,
PUBLIC ACTUARY
LARDS OF LONDON
SHIPPING INSURERS TO THE WORLD.
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2 comments:
Please make it stop stop.
Now thats funny!
I must give credit where credit is due: Timmys_Trick_Turkey authored that and posted it on the SA thread. I had to post it here, it's so good.
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