Cruising World Writes Article on Stowe - Our Weather Scow is on the Scene Reporting ---THE LAKE EFFECT

Guttersnipe Epidemic Strikes Forum Dwellers
By CScow Associated Press
January 8, 2009. Santa's Village, New York
Updated: 72 minutes ago

Prestigious journalists are investigating an outbreak of Forum Dweller Guttersnipe (FDG), an inspiring condition impacting all ages, genders, and handmade boat owners.

This field reporter was absolutely, unequivocally, blown away by the engrossing impact guttersnipe has. Symptoms were described by one source at the scene as "schoolyard bullies throwing rocks at aging, innocent, rabid schoolyard cats who go on vacation to avoid child support obligations", or something to that effect.

One such cat, surrounding himself with and owing support to a variety of younger pussies, admits he has rankled souls along the way. "I am not a perfect cat, and they've found flaws to throw stones at. They don't like my selfish lifestyle, lack of coherent philosophy, convenient invention of random religions, choice of pussies, void personality, handmade schooner, or my art. They really love me, of course....just not those parts about me. Most of all, they don't understand my lifelong dream...dumpster diving for 1000 Days, the longest nonstop dumpster dive in cat history. Perhaps it isn't 'me'; it could be purely monetary, a product of our times, flowing from sponsors to my personal bank account before anyone discovers lack of tax-deductibility. I share an inspiring story. In return, forum dwellers guttersnipe me to the core, causing me to dig deep for love and more favorable press coverage".

Scientists and intellectuals are working non-stop to address the issue. "We thought we had guttersniping contained", said Sparky, of the Hoboken Deepwater Guttersnipe Research Facility. "Last week, a virulent forum dweller, guttersniping Detroit about some stupid hockey game, was nearly stoned to death by Detroit schoolyard bullies, when Detroit later won that game. Turns out we were overly optimistic, thinking Detroit or anyone in the dusty Great Lakes region would end it. Forum guttersnipe simply mutated into new variant strains, targeting Shuffleboard, airport runways, and petrol tankers. Where will it end? It now appears we need 1000 days, well over 207 pages of detailed forum research, and sale of at least one more Admiral web site membership to tackle this most remarkable of tragic problems".

Veteran forum dweller and sailor William Backstay remains optimistic, offensively commenting on gains made in fighting aimless driftathons, the leading cause of Guttersnipe. "Sure, we have misguided women like Sparky...dwelling here and in other forums, signing on as "SailDude" and "Sailing007", who have never set foot on a sailboat, nor apparently been owed child support. Fortunately, experienced forum dwellers have developed early detection methods, often allowing application of less invasion nitpicking out-patient procedures, with minimal ralphing or other side effects. There's still hope".